The god of Self

Oswald Chambers spoke to me this morning. His January 19th reflection in “My Utmost for His Highest” talks about Abraham right after God promises to make him a father of a great nation and that will in turn bless many nations [Genesis 15]. Abraham was old [86!] and childless – so at the very least, this was a promise from God that Abraham would have a son. Then the text says Abraham had a dream, “And great horror and darkness came upon him” [15:12]. And when Abraham woke up, Sarai came to Abraham with the whole “hey, why don’t you sleep with Hagar, my maidservant, because we don’t have any kids by me and if God is going to give us all these descendants, we’d better find another way to begin.” [Genesis 16] Abraham did sleep with Hagar, Ishmael was conceived and born – and the rest [as they say] is messy history.

Chambers says, “When God gives a vision, and darkness follows…wait.” Abraham got impatient. Of course, I understand why…GOD DIDN’T SPEAK TO ABRAHAM AGAIN FOR 13 YEARS AND SARAI, HIS WIFE, DIDN’T GET PREGNANT WITH THE SON GOD PROMISED UNTIL THAT TIME – AND ABRAHAM WAS 100 YEARS OLD [GENESIS 21]. But God had a plan, a program, a timetable – and it was not in Abraham’s best interest to try and circumvent that plan – in fact, it brought much pain to Abraham, Sarai, Hagar, Ishmael, Isaac – and the two nations that Ishmael and Isaac spawned. Chambers says, “God will make you in accordance with the vision He has given you if you will await His time. Never try and help God fulfill His word.” He goes on to say, “Abraham went through 13 years of silence, but in those years all self-sufficiency was destroyed…” God’s plan was not just to do something THROUGH Abraham…but IN Abraham.

I think the same is true for us. Chambers puts it like this: “The one thing for which we are all being disciplined is to know that God is real. As soon as God becomes real, other people become shadows.” He isn’t saying that other people become unimportant – but that their agenda for us [to find a more convenient way to help God accomplish His plan in our lives!!??] is put in its proper place – and we are free to simply wait on God and His timetable.

I found myself thinking about Psalm 31:14-15 – “But as for me, I trust in You, O Lord; I say, ‘You are my God’. My times are in Your hand…” Then I found myself bowing my heart before Him, asking Him to continue “destroying all self-sufficiency” in me. And of course, I asked Him if He could do it as painlessly as possible…